Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
