You made me cry and you don't even care
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
