you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
