question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
