Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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