you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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