When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
