God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
