I hate your face
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
