Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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