im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
