Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
