We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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