The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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