i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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