After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My bed smells like the plague
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