Church boner. Awkwardddd
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
