I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
