True but thats because hes a fetus.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I think your dad took our porno
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
