Ambien. No doubt about it.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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