If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
