I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
