Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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