im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
