If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
