yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
