Dual....:-)
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The beer is more important than you right now.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
