Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
