it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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