I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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