What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
