Princesses don't give blow jobs
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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