kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
