Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
