Christians are straight up FREAKS
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Your cock deserves a montage
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
