you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I am available for nakedness
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
