She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
