Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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