What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
