i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
