what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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