i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize