i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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