I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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