ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
