New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
