I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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