My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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