shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize