I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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