I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
NoShamevember. You game?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
