just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
