btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
