in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
