i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
