that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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