Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I need a beard to bite.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize