Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Your mouth is God's brothel.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
