My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
BRING THE BAGELS
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
