Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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