So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Randomize
