Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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